Happy Earth Day!

To all of those who dedicate their time and resources to the protection, rehabilitation, and conservation of the eco-systems of Africa and the wildlife that inhabits those lands, I dedicate this post to you. Thank you for making the Earth a better place. 

All photos were taken by Samantha Angelo & Peter Ostrega in Tanzania, The Grumeti Reserve, January 2014.

To Tony Fitzjohn and Kevin Richardson (seen below), who have dedicated their lives to raising awareness about lions and the growing fear of their extinction. 

My observation of lions in the wild: 

Lions are the most loving animals I've ever seen, they show constant displays of love, friendship, admiration, and affection towards one another. Their favorite things to do are roll around in the grass, play and nap with their families, lick/nudge heads, and most of all climb trees. The love within a lion pride is inspirational and unbreakable. I saw nothing else like it during my time in Africa. Although lions have very short life spans (10-15 years) they make the most of packing as much tender love and affection into those years as possible. 

“What we are doing to the forests of the world is but a mirror reflection of what we are doing to ourselves and to one another.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Nymphomaniac Volume I

(Photo Credit)

A review and discussion of the much anticipated film by Lars von Trier, 

 

Nymphomaniac Volume I  

I would call this film a light hearted comedy compared to Dancer in the Dark, definitely one of his more uplifting projects...but that's not saying much.

After reading The New York Times and a few others reviews (more like synopsis), I've noticed that these critics are taking his films too literally. These films are meant to be dissected word for word, and you must search for the true meaning, which in this case has absolutely nothing to do with sex. 

Lars focuses on the same exact topics in all of his films, the beauty of his work is found in the inventive way he presents these points through various situations and stories. Never has he once portrayed life in a beautiful, soft, and happy light. In his art he shows life as torture, a string of cruel, immoral, evil, and unfair happenings. He uses sex as a diversion and a tool, and glorifies death as the ultimate salvation from life. For those of you who want to think deeply, read on.

The Disclaimer

Ok, now would be a good time to admit that Lars von Trier is one of my favorite directors/writers/artists. From the very first time my best friend Evan introduced me to his films, I was riveted. Something about the way he made movies spoke to me in a very deep and personal way. I always walked away with so many existential questions and thoughts.

The way he sets the mood in the opening of this film caused me to close my eyes and shutter in anticipation of what was to come, he makes you face the worlds discomfort of silence and darkness, perfectly complimented with heavy metal, that slaps you in the face. The way he uses music in his films is so enchanting to me, no one can do what he does with music. He has impeccable taste, and he knows exactly when and how to use music in his art form.   

 I make it a point to go into the theatre to see his films with absolutely no background on what they're about and who is in them, I love being completely floored and shocked by everything. I highly recommend this tactic when seeing a Lars film.

Lars von Trier is not for everyone. For most people, going to the movies is about letting go of all thoughts, not having to think and just simply being entertained and transported for a few hours, away from the stress of life. If you are one of those people, don't ever see a Lars von Trier film. Ever! His films force you to think, feel, laugh, cry, and sometimes you don't even know how to react. It has nothing to do with entertainment and everything to do with creating an artistic expression through film. 

 Praise

The way that this man connects dots is pure beauty. I've always found that the art that speaks to me the most is through an artist that can connect the most simple and obvious elements, whether it be colors, ideas or sounds, yet in a way that no one else had ever thought to connect them before. He is an artist of analogy. His analogies are spellbinding.

This film is genius and poetic and it speaks to my soul, but like I said his films are not for the faint of heart. For me, I love when an artist such as Lars can bring out an emotion or feeling that I've never tapped into before, or something that has been repressed or stored in the back of my mind. 

Only Lars could make a film called Nymphomaniac and it would have nothing to do with sex, not to mention sneakily humorous.  He puts genitals in his audiences face, and somehow makes it artistic, almost like in the grand scheme of the universe, what does it matter, it's just a body part.
 
I appreciate the way he describes sex addiction through Bach polyphony, fly fishing and Fibonacci numbers, truly poetic.

 The Creative Process

When I think about  Lars Von Trier's creative process, I imagine him creating a feeling, he digs deep into the intricacies of that feeling, the various complexities that piece it together like a jig saw puzzle. Then he begins creating a scene around that feeling. He forces his audience to feel exactly what he wants them to feel, as uncomfortable as it may be. 

(Photo Credit)

The best example of this is from the now infamous Uma Thurman scene. Wow. He takes a situation that happens all over the world everyday and all the emotions and feelings that are wrapped up in that situation and exploits it to the point of laughter, gut busting laughter. In that moment I completely understood that situation, he rubs it in your face. I hear his thoughts in this scene, loud and clear. He's saying 'how can this situation happen', it's so unfair and cruel that it's actually laughable. He pokes fun at life and sees death as the ultimate romance, that's Lars.

 

What Does It All Mean?

In Volume I, I feel like he's asking the question, do men have any control? If all women acted like men, what would the world be like? These are some deep and terrifying questions. The fact that he uses a woman as his subject of sex addiction, doesn't go unnoticed. What about the man who plays the devils advocate in telling her that she's not evil, nothing is 'wrong with her', and she is not a sinner...what does it all mean?? Is he trying to tell her that she's simply acting like a man, not a sinner, and she has nothing to feel bad about? 

"If you are not religious how can you be a sinner?" He asks in the very beginning of the film.
 If you're not religious and you call yourself a sinner, than you are a masochist.

This question Lars poses reminds me of some similar Kanye lyrics:

"Human beings in a mob. What's a mob to a king? What's a king to a God? What's a God to a non-believer who don't believe in anything?" 

'Not only is the non believe not ruled by God, to him he doesn't even exist.'(credit) Things only have meaning to us based on whatever we individually choose to believe. This extenuates the power of the mind, mind over matter, power derives from belief. 'That is the only reason why the mob is less powerful than the king, because they believe that they are less powerful. The same can be argued for the other two comparisons, that political and religious systems thrive only as long as people believe in them.'(credit) Without belief, nothing matters. If we didn't believe that money had value than it wouldn't have value. This is a slippery slope, we could get in to Noam Chomsky philosophy and start questioning why a tree is called a tree, but I'll stop there.

Does that mean if you can make someone believe something, it is the greatest power that could exist? We have the power to define everything around us based on our beliefs, we can paint whatever picture we want. Both empowering and frightening.  

Getting back to the first questions I posed about the film: You know how the story goes, if a man leaves his wife for another woman, it's the other woman's fault, not the man's fault. She's a home wrecker and should know better than to mess with another woman's husband, because we all know that men have no choice in the matter, they have no control over themselves. This is what Lars is undoubtedly saying. I mean, is it Frank Underwood who is taking over the White House... or Claire Underwood? Maybe the secret that Sheryl Sandburg is not telling us is that women already have all of the power, we're just not so obvious about it...that is a theory I can get behind. In this film the lead character (Joe) manipulates men into believeing they're in control, when really she's pulling all the puppet strings. What are you saying Lars?

(Photo Credit)

This is every man's worst nightmare, and maybe even every woman's worst nightmare. The thought that someone can so flippantly play with other peoples lives and emotions with the roll of a dice, literally. I know that this behavior does exist in the world, I've seen glimpses of these traits in other people and it is absolutely terrifying. 

He compares existence to being a caged Lion, just pacing back and forth in this cage of life, until we're allowed to die. Lars sees death as the ultimate adventure, he sees death as beautiful, like Justine (Kirsten Dunst) in Melancholia, the end of the world is her salvation and happiness. Life is a maddening cycle of feelings, lack of feelings, love, lust, manipulation, sex. Death is romance. 

The Bottom Line

  
- You can't rebel against love; not feeling anything is still feeling something. 

- "The secret to sex is love."


I leave you with some food for thought by two of my favorite thinkers...


"Why should we take it to be obvious that if I let go of a ball, it goes down and not up? Learning comes from asking, "Why do things work like that? Why not some other way?" The world is a very puzzling place. If you’re not willing to be puzzled, you just become a replica of someone else’s mind. Visual experience is just simulations of the retina, but we impose an extremely rich interpretation of it. We see the world in terms of trees and dogs and rivers and so on, but then the question is, "Well, what are those concepts?" People are just not satisfied to think, "I go from dust to dust, and there’s no meaning to my life." - Noam Chomsky

"Romance is abused in all sorts of endlessly dull ways in mainstream products." - Lars von Trier

Forever 30 | NYC Fashion Blogger Samantha Angelo

When trying to find the words to describe how excited I am about turning 30, I'm left speechless.

Only a 90's Whitney can adequately relay my inner most emotions on this impending decade of my 30's. And the supreme love, joy and excitement I feel!!!

 
On the eve of my 30th birthday, I couldn't help but reflect on my 20's.

It actually hurts my brain to think of how much could happen in my 30's after all that took place in my 20's. Ouch!

Here are 10 life lessons that I've learned over the past decade, that have brought me to this joyous day of celebration! 


#10

This lesson is from my father, he had me read the Desiderata all the time growing up, and he continues to tell me to turn to it when I need to. This is the greatest mantra for life I've ever read. One of my favorite lines - " If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

#9 

Always remember the 4 D's of success. Determination + Dedication + Drive + Desire = Success/ Something Awesome, and you can even throw in Desiderata for good measure.

#8

 So many people in the world are filled with pain and they wish to have all the people around them feel how they feel. Whether they set out to or not they drain those around them of joy and happiness...to make themselves feel better. Wisdom: It wasn't the fault of the evil, it was my own fault for associating myself with them. Hone in on and sharpen your intuition, go with your gut reaction. Learning how to be more perceptive is the key. Know who to associate with and who to stay far away from.

 #7

Compassion is a beautiful thing. Exercise compassion everyday.

#6

We adapt, we survive. This week I saw two blind people walking down the busy streets of Manhattan. Talk about fearless, now that is inspiration. Have faith that we adapt. 

#5

 People can not be rescued by anyone but themselves. 

#4


There were times in last decade when I questioned whether I was too nice, too good to others, only because of the treatment I so often received in return. I thought, maybe there's no place in the world for people who are genuine and good, who are too often stepped on by the majority of people in the world who are takers and those who have deep seeded problems, who find enjoyment in the torment of all that is good and righteous.

In the end I decided that people would have to adapt to the good, the genuine, not the other way around. I won't be influenced by evil and facades , I will be a leader of all that is good and righteous. 

#3 

You'd be surprised at how much you can handle and recover from. Get out of your head. Sometimes when things are awful in the 'Now' it's hard to see anything else, but you have to repeat to yourself,  "things will change, things will get better." That's the one guarantee in life, change. Embrace it, don't fight it.

#2

Things don't just happen, you have to fight for the life that you dream of and envision every single day.

#1

The greatest lesson learned from during my 20's is most definitely perseverance. Don't ever give up on your own personal beliefs and values, even if they aren't the norm , especially if they are not the norm. The unique love or ______ that you crave and deserve is out there, go find it and don't rest until you do! 



Again, I'll let  80's Whitney describe how I'll be feeling tonight...

Thanks for the help Ms. Houston!!We're gunna party like it's 1984!

"Inexhaustible variety of life"

Living next to this park is like winning the entertainment lottery and having a little piece of Paris right at your fingertips...

Photo courtesy of Gawker.com

I'm taking full advantage of these next two months living in this location and taking in as much of WSP and its people as I possibly can. With the opportunity and privilege to spend a chunk of my time at WSP everyday, I would like to share with you my personal observations. 

On Sunday I met Lily in Washington Square, where we were entertained by the crazy piano guy who rolled out a baby grand and performed Rhapsody In Blue (twice as requested by princess Lily, as he called her.)  He also performed Claire de Lune by Claude Debussy with a very special commentary (which I loved), I caught it on my iPhone. 

 I adore how he screams,"Yay!!!", after everything he plays. Colin literally would push this piano through the streets of NY to get it to the park, now apparently he uses a Uhaul, but I like to believe that he pushes the piano everywhere he goes. It seems more whimsical that way. Also, can we please push another baby grand into the park and invite the crazy piano lady, Annamaria Mottola, to show him how its done. I don't think I can rest until I see AM playing a baby grand in WSP. PLEASE!! Crazy Piano showdown!!

Lily and I, per usual, made a scene in the middle of the park as we hugged and jumped up and down in each others arms, which lead an NYU orthodontist student to tell Lily that she has the most "infectious smile he's ever seen." That's one of the reasons I opted for adult braces, so that I can have a smile more like Lily's :-) 

Yesterday morning I was walking through WSP on my way to Soul Cycle and all of a sudden I found myself in the middle of a Pharrell Williams Happy flash mob, everyday should start exactly like that. It made me smile. That's not the first time I'v seen New Yorkers on the street dancing to Happy, a few days earlier a woman was dancing and belting out the viral tune in Hudson River Park. I love seeing people so happy that they feel the need to break out into song and dance. Which brings me to the throughly entraining scene outside my front window on Saturday night, who needs a TV when you have a huge Juilet balcony that opens onto a bustling West Village Street? It was a warm one so you can just imagine how happy people were, literally every other person walking down my street was singing or humming a tune, groups of people singing together, it made me happy!!

An hour later I was walking through the park to get home and bumped into my new friend Dusty, who I had met a few days earlier. He had walked up to me in the park while I was taking in the varieties of life and asked me if I could call his friend for him, since his phone ran out of minutes/batteries.

Dusty is strictly a street musician, he plays tenor sax, so of course I helped him out! We chatted with his friend on speaker phone, and at the same exact time there was a man teaching a group of teens how to get a pigeon to land on their head...

This time I finally had the opportunity to hear him play. I sat on the steps of the statue as he serenaded me. Dusty insisted I bring my clarinet next time to so that we can jam together. And then right beside us...

Later that day I came back through the park for a third time and it was the most packed I had ever seen it, of course it was, its the warmest day of the year so far AND it's still light out at 5pm, which = pure unadulterated New York joy. I sat and watched...

The students. more specifically the girl next to me that was sitting with her mother we must have been visiting with her thick southern accent. 

The Asian man with a shaved head, headphones in and pad in hand sitting with his legs crossed with perfect posture, taking notes every few moments. Eventually he puts his pen behind his ear, puts his bag over his shoulder and walks away with intent, wearing all brown. Analyzing him made me feel like I should sit up straighter. Maybe he realized that I was taking notes of him taking notes. Pen to paper. 

And then there's the man walking briskly, wearing a teal V neck sweater, holding a thick novel and talking to himself. 

Followed by the old Rabbi with his grey curls and his endearing walk that’s really more of a side to side movement than a forward motion. 

Straight ahead there are two young men, born agains, walking around the circle with their yellow sign that reads,"Why are we here?" And as if timed perfectly the skater boys come out and start doing their tricks, as a little boy so desperately tries to emulate them but keeps falling and getting back up, falling and getting up.

Just as i'm watching the little boy my ear is drawn to the right corner of the park where a man begins playing bag pipe, glad I wore my all tartan outfit today! By this point I was feeling as though I had enough amusement for one day and I got up and started to leave..and was instantly drawn in again by the sound of classical guitar and the sight of a man that I recognized rolling a glass globe beautifully from one arm to the other in sync with the strumming of the strings.

" The following day it was rainy and cold and as I walked through the park I felt the stark difference and lack of life that made a statement almost as powerful as when the park is completely over taken by people. I stood in the middle of the park with not so much as a sole insight and it was profound, where there was music there was silence, where there was motion, stillness. Its emptiness made it seem larger than life. The love bubble had been washed away as if it had never been. I looked around on the exact benches and grassy patches where there was so much noise and movement,and there was nothing..." - S

Around The Web

Tierney Sutton at Dizzy's Club Coca-Cola

My festive Stella McCartney clutch, perfect for a Valentine's date :-)

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's night with your loves, we went to Dizzy's to see jazz singer, Tierney Sutton, she did her own unique take on the tune Fever, that got everyone hot!

Have a great weekend and stay warm! Here are some links from around the web...

 Air Balloon by Lily Allen is one of those songs that you hear once and can't get out of your head, whether that's a good thing or a bad thing is up to you! Plus, it just so happens to be filmed in South Africa. I love when she throws the camera into space.

The worlds first subterranean park in New York's LES. Now THAT is innovation.

Design driven and glamorous online stationary, along with elegant digital wedding invitations for the modern bride and groom.

One of coolest and most exciting things about the District of Columbia: House Of Cards

Dreaming of summer: A handful of high end shoe designers are copying Chanel this season with their own unique take on the classic and comfortable espadrille flat. I find this pair by Tabitha Simmons to be particularly cute. 

Don't worry guys I have something for you too.  Looking for the perfect gift for the man in your life, during this treacherous winter season? Try these stylish galoshes, that are sure to his feet dry and fashion forward. I also love these rubber loafers below, by Gucci, so cute! The perfect all weather shoe for the NY business man.

A little backlash to Sheryl Sandburg's Lean In, debating the age old question that women around the globe struggle with, this journalist asks, is it time to lean out?   The comments on this article are feisty...yikes!

Make Love An Art

All photos by Fiona Conrad

 What better person to turn to on this day than the man that dedicated his life to the study of love, Dr. Leo Buscaglia. I only wish I could have taken his course entitled, "Love 1A", that he taught for many years at University of Southern California! 

Here are a few inspirational thoughts about love by "Dr. Love", Leo Buscaglia:

Love makes us more

"Love encourages us to venture into places in our minds and hearts never before explored and which would never have been disclosed except for love. In essence, love reveals us to ourselves.

In love we find the security which encourages us to risk, to try again, to find new behavioral alternatives for old ways. We more deeply discover ourselves as we discover each other. From lovers we are presented with a new vision, a realization that the world we have defined for ourselves may have been delimiting and we are encouraged to open up to new perceptions made possible only through someone else's vision. 

Love offers us the most fertile soil for growth. We nurture that soil by enriching it with a willingness to give up our old self and our useless preconceptions. In return, we are presented with a broader vision of ourselves and a world of limitless possibilities for our discovery. Love is not blind. It has perfect vision. It makes it possible for us to see as we have never seen before." - Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love

Make love an art

"Many of us have an armchair view of love. We create a fixed, comfortable parameter for our feelings and sit back safely within these self-imposed limits. We don't go to love, we expect it to come to us. We look to novels, movies and television to bring us to love vicariously, content to be passive observers. We are fearful of emotions that make demands on us, that can possibly get out of hand. 

Love is not known to thrive in such an atmosphere. Real lovers do more than just seek the comfort of love, they strive to make it an art. They are fully aware that this will require a continuous expanding of their senses and sharpening of their perceptions in order to keep up with the challenges of love.

Love is a vast canvas awaiting out artistic expression. The work is never really completed, it's always a work in progress. But as with all creative endeavors, as we labor, we are treated to a broader vision, a keener insight, and the joy that comes mainly from the artistic process itself, less concerned with critical judgment and the finished master-piece." 
- Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love

 My own thoughts...

How do you define something so intangible? I don't believe it's possible for any love to be exactly alike. I guess the best thing I can say about love is that I am living in the love that I've always wanted and dreamt of, the love that I've created (and often times beyond what I thought was possible), and that's the best love anyone could hope to live in, the love that personally suits them the very best. Yet, my feelings on love are constantly changing and evolving as I grow older and experience more of life, for me the beauty is in the constant push and pull of love, the give and take, and the anticipation of each other's needs. I make an effort to always be in touch with my own feelings, so that I can make them known. My experience with all different kinds of love has lead me to truly understand the love that I want to give and receive so freely. For me personally, this journey and reward has been the holy grail of happiness.

On a very basic level love begins with two beings just simply being nice to one another. I know this may sound elementary, but not everyone is nice and/or sincere, and love can never grow in that environment.  

Love is as complex as trying to understand the universe. We can talk about it until we're blue in the face, but does anyone really know what's going on out there in space, especially outside our galaxy??! The same goes for trying to understand a human relationship, the complexities are limitless.

All we know is that we need love, we need it to survive. We long for it. Everyone wants to love and be loved...and everyone deserves the love that they desire. 

A day spent without having completed an act of love is a day lost

"We all have so many possible occasions for loving and yet there is so little demonstrated love in the wolrd. People are dying alone, crying alone. Children are being abused and elderly people are spending their final days without tenderness and love. In a world where there is such an obvious need for demonstrated love, it is well to realize the enormous power we do have to help and to heal people in our lives with nothing more complicated than an outsteched hand or a warm hug. Teresa of Avila entreated us to "accustom yourself to make many acts of love, for they enkindle and melt the soul."

Day's end is a good time to reflect on what we have done to make the world a better, more caring and loving place. If nothing springs to mind night after night, this can also be an excellent time for us to consider how we can change the world for the better. We need not perform monumental acts, but act on the simple things which are readily accomplished: the phone call we have not made, that note we have put off writing, that kindness we have failed to acknowledge. When it comes to giving love, the opportunities are unlimited and we are all gifted." - Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love

" There is the same difference in a person before and after he is in love, as there is in an unlighted lamp and one that is burning. The lamp was there and was a good lamp, but now it is shedding light too (and this is its real function)."

- Vincent Van Gogh

Eulogy

 I dedicate this blog to my grandmother, Molly Angelo. She was one of thirteen children born to Polish immigrant parents, growing up during the Great Depression. What she lacked in money and education she made up for with the most unconditional and abundant love you could ever dream to imagine. A love so deep and vast that the ocean would be jealous. I was blessed enough to receive that love first hand every single day. Now she is gone, yet that love lives inside me. 

Matilda H. (Molly) Angelo - 2nd from the right

I had the distinct honor of eulogizing my grandmother at her funeral on Saturday December 7th, at Holy Angels Church.  She passed away on Thanksgiving night 2013. 

"Loving, like prayer, is a power as well as a process. 

                    It's curative. It is creative." - Zona Gale 

This was my eulogy to Molly Angelo:

 Good Morning.

I would like to begin by thanking everyone who is present here today. It means so much to the Angelo family that you are with us to celebrate the long and loving life of Molly Angelo.

Let me tell you a little bit about Molly. I met my grandmother when she was 65 years old and by that point she had experienced enough to fill two lifetimes. Molly’s life and love was always focused on her family and the second half of her life was all about her granddaughters, and eventually her great grandchildren, Nick and Alyssa.

Michelle, Annie, and I were her entire world and her happiness. She would have fought through a blizzard to be at the hospital for our births, and she did.

My father recently told me a story about how, on the day I was born, my grandma held me when I was just out of the womb, still bloody from birth and a nurse told her that she needed to take me away to clean me up. But grandma wouldn’t leave my side. Knowing her she probably didn’t trust the nurse to be as gentle with me as she was. She may have even suspected that someone would kidnap me or switch me with another baby, that was my grandma.

For those of you that knew Molly well, you know that she wasn’t an overly joyous or happy person, but when her granddaughter’s were present, she was all smiles.

However, none of us could make her laugh quite like Annie could. To Annie, grandma was known as Mertle and together they were partners in crime. They would stay up until all hours of the night playing cards and joking around. And I know that my sister definitely inherited the one of a kind phrases that grandma would come up with like her most famous “Stop Monkin Around”. Now we can always count of Annie for a one of a kind phrase that gets everyone rolling on the floor laughing.   

In Molly’s eyes her children and grandchildren could do no wrong. She blamed herself before she would condemn anyone in her family. I can tell you from my own experience that no matter how many times I would wet her bed, or make a mess with my toys, or incessantly knock on her door, just yearning for her attention, not once did she get mad at me, turn me away, or even get annoyed.  

She showed the greatest Esprit de Corps to her family.  A phrase that I learned during my 8 years in the Marine Corps, it means having feelings of loyalty, enthusiasm, and devotion to a group of people. And THAT was Molly.

Never have we met a stronger, feistier, more opinioned, and nurturing human being. She took care of me and loved me everyday when I was a child, and when it finally came time for me to go to Kindergarten, she walked me into School #3, just a few blocks away from here, and as she tried to drop me off… I just lost it!

I started crying uncontrollably, to the point where the teacher yelled at me and told me to go into the bathroom and collect myself, but I couldn’t, I tried so hard, I just couldn’t stop the tears from coming out of my eyes.

I’ve only been that upset a handful of times in my life. I can still feel how hard my heart was beating and my stomach twisting in anguish.

Looking back on it, I now realize how philosophical that moment was. I think part of me wished to live in those moments with gram forever, if only I could have found a way to bend time, because after I walked out of that bathroom I had to grow up, loose my innocence, and face the harsh realities of life. And my grandma knew that. She obviously didn’t want our time to end either, because she somehow talked the teacher into letting her become the teachers assistant so she could come to school with me every single day.

This was not an isolated incident. Children crying in the wake of her absence was Molly’s unique talent. The same exact thing happened to Michelle, the second grandma would take out her suitcase and start to get ready to leave, Michelle would scream and cry, all the way from the house, to the airport, and into the terminal… as if the world was coming to an end.

It was never easy for us to see her go; because when she was gone you quickly realized that her unconditional love and presence was like a supernova occurring in the Milky Way. In other words it was far from common.

It was the way you felt about yourself when you were around her that was so intoxicating.

When it comes to grandma there are so many words of wisdom that she instilled in all of us, most of which had to do with studying hard and getting good grades. And of course we all have our own wonderful memories of her.

But for me it’s all about the unspoken and subconscious details that stir in my mind, like my grandmothers hands, when I close my eyes I can see her hands. They were the hands of a woman who had worked so hard and loved so much that she had worn away the prints on her fingertips. She had peeled and cut so many potatoes that she had permanent lines from where the knife pressed against the cushion of her thumb. When I was a child I memorized those hands; the way they looked, the pressure of her touch, the strength of her grasp and of course, cold hands warm heart.

The only thing I can possibly compare her to, at the end of her life, is the story of the Velveteen Rabbit. I know this story so well because it’s one of my aunt Tee’s favorite books. The moral of the story is that in loving others and in others loving us, we become real and find the true meaning of life.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Well, I can tell that Molly looked like she had been relentlessly loved after 94 years of life, and in becoming real she is finally free from the restraints and boundaries of her frail body. In the last 5 years she was so beautifully loved and cared for by my aunt, with the help of her wonderful aids, which include my mother and two sisters. I would like to thank you all on behalf of our entire family. Because of your gracious care my grandmother was able to stay in the comfort of her own home that she lived in for past 70 years. And ultimately passed away peacefully in the very apartment that I grew up in.

Thank you Lord for showing yourself through the love of Molly Angelo, which made us who we are in your reflection.

Because God IS Love.

And if there is one truth, it is that... Love, never dies.